February 1

Once upon a time, there lived a daryog.
This daryog would bellow with laughter.
Like all the elders, his name was Dariog. Unlike all the elders, he was different.
He was famous for his bellowing laughter. He was liked by the children for this reason.
Back came his head. Back came his back. His neck would tighten.
Up turned his chin. Back came his shoulders.
His lips would pucker. Then his lips would quiver. Then his lips would twist.
Open would his mouth become. His mouth would grow wide open.
Dariog's chest would expand. Dariog's eyes would widen.
Crunched did Dariog's face become. Dariog would expand, twist, and open.
The children would look outside to the Elder's Seat in the street. They would jump to their feet upon noticing Dariog. The children would rush out of the Ghuch to get a closer look at Dariog's face. The children loved nothing more than to hear the sound of Dariog bellow with laughter and to watch his quivering, twisting, opening, crumpling face. When the bellowing with laughter would begin, Dariog's whole body would quiver and quake. His whole body would twist and jump and leap from his seat with uncontrollable laughter. His whole body would twist, open, crumple, expand and flail all over the seat in a dramatic celebration of movement. And then out would come this tremendous, thundering, echoing roar of sound. Out would come the most beautiful sound in the whole world............
HAHAHAHOHOHOHOHAHAHAHOheheHAHAHAHAHAHOHOheheHOHOhehe.......
and out and out it flowed............
It sounded so very sweet and spontaneous and free. It was so refreshing to the children of the Ghuch...what a treat it was to hear the sweet sweet poetry of Dariog's laughter...they would smile and sigh and shake their heads in awe and say "you're so very very silly, old Dariog" and they would watch him wide-eyed and then their lips would begin to quiver, begin to twist, until soon every child of the Ghuch would open their lips and expand their chests and tilt their heads back and begin to bellow the same silly song as old Dariog, adding a chorus of Sopranos to Dariog's lead........
HAHAHAHEHEhuhuHEHEheheHAHAHAHOHOHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEhohoHEHE.... and the children would look wide-eyed at the now dancing around and prancing around and tumbling to the muddy ground old fool Dariog with a boiling, bright red face and a wraparound smile and a sparkle in his happy old eyes, wide with wild excitement upon seeing the children of the Ghuch dashing toward him with their wraparound smiles and roasting red faces and sweet giggles and glimmering, gleaming young eyes......Uncontrollable laughter would become contagious-the children of the Ghuch would start by laughing at Dariog, but then would laugh at their friends and then laugh at themselves for laughing so hard until everyone was rolling around on the muddy ground, expanding and contrasting and quivering and twisting and opening and rolling and snorting and roaring and feeling a feeling of freedom they had never felt before because of all the pressures of the Ghuch, all the Igit and Chigut, the kibarts and the blatats their parents had waiting for them at home, and all the other activities and chores of their awkward, mechanical world. This was the only time the children would feel happy, feel real, feel daryog.

January 26

Welcome to Josh Powers' column "Speak my licks and spit" on www.brucespero.com.. I do not want to categorize this column as "social" or "political" or "iconoclastic," because, quite honestly, I am not sure what my aim is here. I like writing; I like people reading my writing...so let's give this a try and see where it takes us. More than anything, I hope this column is a catalyst for thought and laughter-yours and mine.

Considering Martin Luther King Day was celebrated nationally this past Monday, I feel it fitting to discuss the problems with a growing racism in our society today. The University of Michigan's policy of admitting applicants based on skin color epitomizes this problem, this bigotry. As we have all heard, the admissions board uses certain criteria in determining who will be admitted. Unfortunately for smart and qualified applicants, race is deemed to be a very important factor. 20 points are deducted from the applicant solely based on the pigmentation of his/her skin. Asian-Americans, European-Americans (aka "Whites"), and Arab-Americans are given a 0 on the checklist, while African-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, and American-Indians are awarded 20 points due to their privileged status. This policy should come as a slap in the face to anyone who believes in liberalism, freedom, equality. and reason. And why this policy? What is the reason for discriminating between the races? What is the reason for letting dumb people in and smart people out of the U. of Michigan? For the Almighty "Diversity" factor.

This country has gone crazy with hyphens: everyone needs to be called the correct term or else..... African-American, Latino-American, etc. etc. etc. What happened to the idea of America, to Americans, to Solidarity, to the idea of coming together in the name of freedom and innovation under the stars and stripes of one flag; to look beyond superficiality and judge people on their humanity and contribution to society rather than on their melanin content. Without a doubt, we are a great country. However, when it comes to race, we are moronic: there are many dividing lines and inconsistencies. Facts are covered up by rhetoric. Some words can be said by some people-others are not entitled to this freedom of speech. Descrimination for "Diversity" sake is fantastic, so say they; discrimination to cut down on crime and bring order to chaotic neighborhoods - racism! Please cite examples.

Sure. Racial profiling. The community leaders and Reverend Doctors call profiling an outrage. Sure, more than half the crimes are committed by a certain small demographic (namely, 12-40 yr. old African-American males)...it may make complete sense, in terms of economic and time saving reasons, to monitor this crime prone group very closely (i.e. profiling). While I agree this would help get the "bad seeds" off the street a lot quicker, I also believe in treating everyone fairly; thus, the ages, sex, and color of ones skin are factors that must be overlooked by a just society. Their are bad seeds in every pod, and to pay special attention to one particular demographic isn't fair to the good seeds of that particular pod. So, racial profiling: while it may help society at large, it doesn't help those in the profiled group who are productive, law abiding citizens. Down with Utilitarianism, up equality, say we.

Great. No racism. No prejudging people. Then we turn on the television and see those same egotistically, morally degenerate community leaders and Reverend Doctors championing racism and prejudge. What? You of all people. Sure, they say-you can have a white or asian applicant, dirt poor, work extremely hard, score top 3% on all required tests-get denied- while a wealthy, poorly qualified black or hispanic applicant gets accepted. Why? Because of the color of their skin...do you think this scenario is fair? The community leaders and Reverend Doctors think it is. They have become the interior decorators of opportunism -"this room needs more color; what's good for our people is the way things should be done, irrespective of right and wrong and fairness." Now look at the University of Michigan's basketball team. 80% black or so. Is this fair? "Where are all the Asian-American guys?" "Don't be silly," says the laughing community leaders and Reverend Doctors, "if he don't have game, he don't play." "But, but, but, but," says the Asian-American....."How come you called that other African American guy "Nigger"....isn't that a naughty word?" "If you called me a "Nigger," I'd kill you. But he's my brotha, so it cool." "Can I be your "brotha" too?" "No! Your Chinese! You can't be no brotha!" "But I want to go to Grambling State..." "What? That is a black college! Your Chinese! Why don't you go to bed!" But, but, but....and so on and so on goes the hypocrisy of privilege and elitism of race in our society.

Of course many people like to play the blame game-its the American way. "We are this way because of this, that, them." "Pity me. Give me, give me, give me for free." Forget it. And money doesn't always solve the problem of education and achievement. Just look at the inner city school system of Washington DC....this is THE wealthiest system in the country with more resources than your school--yet is one of the LOWEST performing school systems in the country. The people who are paying for the school via taxes (namely, the rich European-Americans) send their children to private schools because of all the crime, violence, and the general lack of interest in learning by the other children. Let's stop kidding ourselves-the problems of achievement in academics is usually not so much a result of political or monetary reasons-it is largely due to the underachievement of the individual. If I want to be a basketball star, I need to both natural born talent and a drive to work hard. If I don't practice, I don't play well. Academics work similarly, and the University of Michigan says "sometimes, race trumps achievement."

OK. You see the point. There are a lot of double standards when it comes to race. Sometimes racism, hate, and bigotry are permissible, sometimes it isn't. We need to stop making dividing lines amongst us, stop making excuses, and start getting real. We need to acknowledge that there are differences among us: some people are just smarter than others; some people are better at basketball; some people are better at cooking; some at sleeping; others at public speaking. We need to use reason when deciding what is appropriate for certain individuals. Not everyone can achieve what another can. Not everyone can look like Brad Pitt. Not everyone can be Jordan or Einstein. And not everyone has the intelligence and achievement to get into the University of Michigan. We need to see each other not as hyphenated Americans, but as Americans, as humans, as equally in the eyes of society - black, white, yellow, red, blue...who cares. We're in this together. Bring out your strong points and let them shine-market it to the world. As Martin Luther King famously said,"Let us not judge by the color of the skin, but rather on the content of ones character."Peace.

-Josh